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Aimee Mann is the Marvin Hagler 
Of Singer/Songwriters

March 11, 2005 -- Aimee Mann is the Marvin Hagler of Singer/Songwriters. She does her thing, then puts her hat on and goes home.

No showboating, no ‘look at me’ antics. Nothing contrived.

She’s not Arturo Gatti; no Sugar Ray Leonard; not Muhammad Ali.

For those of you young enough not to know who Marvin Hagler is, then I’d say she’s a modern day Bernard Hopkins. (One of the smartest boxers around, 40 years old and should be past his prime, but still on top, doing some of his best boxing.)

I’m trying to come up with some other singer/songwriter-to-boxer analogies, but I’m having a hard time.

Let me try this, maybe you could help. Connect an entry in column A with one in column B. For those who don’t know boxing, I’ll provide my own, biased synopsis.

Column A:

Muhammed Ali – I love Ali today, and miss the old Ali. But I have to admit, back in the seventies I rooted against the guy and his big fn’g ego. He was smarter than me; it’s only with hindsite I see his genious.

Arturo Gatti – maniac in the ring.

Oscar De La Hoya – great fighter; wants to be an actor/celebrity.

Felix Trinidad – fast and spectacular.

Ronald “Winky” Wright – unorthodox left hander.

Sugar Ray Leonard – showboat; I was a big fan of Leonard back in the day, but in retrospect, if I was one of those stiffs he used to put on the brink of knockout and then go into his ‘windmill’ and ‘mug face taunting‘ antics, I’d charge him and bite his fucking ear off.

Joe Frazier – anger and passion; working-class hero.

George Foreman – the stoic, invincible Foreman of his youth or the jolly fat old Foreman of his old age.

Roy Jones Jr. – used to be the best, pound-for-pound, but now is sadly fighting past his prime and losing badly.

Mike Tyson – absolutely scary when he was in his prime. But never really learned to box well and was too small to take on the 6’4” fighters.

Vitali Klitshchko – he reminds me of a real-life version of the guy Rocky fought in Rocky IV.

Ray Mancini – lot of passion; his killing of Duk Koo Kim was very sad. But Mancini’s career fell apart when his opponent loaded his gloves with metal and beat the crap out of him several years later.

Column B:

Fiona Apple – Ray Mancini; and Sony is the guy with the metal in his gloves; and her acceptance speech is Duk Koo Kim.

Bruce Springsteen – my choice: Joe Frazier.

Bob Dylan –   

Elton John –   

Patti Smith – Joe Frazier

Tori Amos – Felix Trinidad?

Jim Morrison – 

Kurt Cobain –  

Eddie Vedder –  

Sheryl Crow – Oscar De la Hoya

U2’s Bono –  

The Finn Brothers

Eminem –   

I don’t know, I just can’t get this to work. Maybe the list is bad. Write in if you come up with something; you can come up with your own fighters or songwriters.

Like maybe Alvin Lee (guitarist) is Felix Trinidad.

-- LouV

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