On the Town   

July 22, 2004

A Bull's Life

Lance Armstrong Rides the Bull

Theyíve put up posters of Lance Armstrong all over NYC, above all the entrances to the subway, culminating in this building-wide poster downtown near Wall Street across from the bull. 

I took a picture. Here it is:

Iím assuming the poster will be up until July 25, and then Armstrong can fade into obscurity for another year. But until then, if you head downtown in NYC, you can see it. 

Again, itís across from the Bull down by Wall Street, lower Manhattan, NYC.

And leave the bull alone, ok? Especially all you ladies. I walk past this bull everyday and let me tell you, I feel for the big guy. Passing female tourists drop all their inhibitions on a dime and make like a beehive for this bullís behind. It becomes one big party. 

You see people taking pictures while kissing the bull on his rear end, kicking the bull in his you-know-what's -- especially South American women, riding his horns like Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy..  

Are these gals admiring Lance, or the Bull's ass? 

I don't think that the Statue of David has this problem. Or maybe he would if they allowed the public to have at him. No wonder the Italians have put him behind glass all these years. He'd have nothing left by now after centuries of pawing. 

As it is this bull has got to have the worst case of blue balls in the history of inanimate statues. Every day thousands of woman from across the world have a go at his private parts. 

Some take an adversarial approach to the bull, others get all lovey dovey. Maybe it's Wall Street they're having a go at. Or their last boyfriend. 

Or maybe it's simply because it's the biggest pair of you-know-what's they've ever seen.

Anyway the metaphors abound and who can pass up taking a picture of yourself in a metaphor. One can only hope that if you ever become famous enough that someone wants to make a full-sized statue of you, you make sure they give you some underpants. Or bicycle shorts in Lance Armstrong's case. 

Looks like it's the bull's ass. 


-- LV