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July 14, 2000

Philadelphia Billy Club Beating

All I can say about that beating the cops laid on that dude in Philadelphia is, those fucking prying helicopters have to go. We should be arming cops with Stinger missiles to shoot down the helicopters before those fuckers can take pictures of the well-deserved beatings the fuzz laid out in this instance. Sometimes criminals deserve a good judicious beating. When a miscreant grows up without the belt of a father to whip the fucker into shape, society has to intervene and bring the police billy into play. No , there can be no excuse for a Volpe scenario, and sometimes the fuzzers go too far, but all in all, the threat of the billy is an effective crime-stopper.

I have been billyed a few times by the fuzz - once at least a good working over - and no harm no foul I had it coming. I was hurling insults at a Port Authority copper a few days before Christmas 1980, the cop's partner had just been shot dead a few days before; he didn't need no lip from an Acorn. Him and another fuzzer collared me just as I was about to get in a cab and get away, they dragged me into a quiet spot on the Journal Square PATH Plaza, maybe even one of those stairwells, and administered the billy until their arms got tired. 

Then they trussed me up like a holiday goose and tossed my miscreant ass into the Hudson County Pavonia bull-pens. On their report, they had included the phrase, "prudent force used to facilitate the arrest." 

I wasn't happy at the time, but on reflection it was a good clean arrest, and because they were hitting me on the fat part of my arms and legs, a clean beating (although I was sore and bruised for a full week afterwards.). I even apologized to the cop in court for insulting him, and afterwards jokingly said to the cop, "you and me both know there was nothing ' prudent ' about that force". He remained expressionless. Here's an interesting thought: The more police realize that they may be under surveillance, the greater the incentive to take a suspect for a really long ride where there are no cameras and administer a dangerous billy beating. 

And once you do that, why not just finish the dude off and leave him out there where there's no cameras no muss no fuss? I love pictures, and I love cameras, but the whole notion of filming cops on duty and those goddamn helicopters something's gotta give. 

I can't understand why those Rodney King cops didn't pay a late-night masked visit to that nosy fucker who filmed them working Rodney over and given THAT fucker a beating. You know how in the movie Goodfellas when Liotta is driving around and he's all paranoid about the helicopters? That's how I feel when I see a helicopters.

They're watching me. Every helicopter I see, I wish I had a Stinger missile. Because every chopper I see might be recording my less-than-perfect life for jack-offs to watch and laugh at. Fuck that.

My blood boils when I think of those snooping goddamn twirlybirds sticking their cameras where they don't belong. You give me a Stinger missile, I'll figure out how to use it and I'll know where to point the fucker. The entire idea of cameras all over the fucking place completely flips my wig and I'm not talking toupee. People like me who have things to hide, we don't need no goddamn cameras where we don't even know where they are. Gets so, you can't even pry your shorts out of the crack of your ass, it's on camera somewhere. Elevators in particular are a problem. You think you're standing there all alone, some dickbird is watching your every move and having a laugh on you. Even a simple kiss is being watched, never mind the far more deviant activities that are a constitutional right of every elevator rider. Go on and ask any cop friend about the increasing number of cameras being deployed , the astonishing diversity of sexual activity that comes over those cameras. Come to think of it, maybe it's justice now that the cops themselves are being taped. Who needs them watching my pathetic mating attempts? At least I'm the one doing it and not watching it.

It is a reality for New York apartment dwellers that if they have a view of the Empire State Building through their big glass windows, the Empire State Building is looking right back. And that likely goes for any of several high buildings and other vantage points. The zoom lenses on cameras are very powerful, and the cameras themselves are not fixed, they swivel. And the assholes who operate them, you know these people are sitting there with their dicks in their hand watching an image because they ain't got what it takes to go out and get a real dose of pussy.

--Dick Acorn