Dick Acorn = Jury   

 
 

Drunken Kennedy's

May 5, 2006 -- News that the Capitol Police covered up a drunken and staggering Patrick Kennedy after he smashed his Mustang must be so dismaying to the many law enforcement and public safety officers who serve honorably. The Capitol Police should be vigorously investigated for ignoring what is at the very least a serious misdemeanor. What is going to happen when Patrick Kennedy, like his drunken father Ted Kennedy ends up killing someone? That victim should be able to hold the Capitol Police either criminally or civilly responsible for letting that disgraceful drunk off because he's "a Kennedy." Drunken, drugged-up Kennedys being stupid are as inevitable as the sun coming up. If they want to act stupid and kill only themselves, as they have, so what. It's when they wind up killing others like Mary Jo Kopechne when all of a sudden, they're not responsible and get special treatment. There should be a special wing in the SuperMax prison for drunken Kennedys, call it the "Kennedy Wing," and be sure it will be full all the time.

 

Martha Stewart =

Mothra Sewage

...You are not “Martha Stewart” which is not your real name anyway, but instead “Mothra Sewage” a dank, horrifying, ugly, fat, and prickly-haired insect flying from the slimy underworld.  A frighteningly mean-spirited uncouth moth; an unsavory anti-butterfly. [more]

 

Bob Torricelli:

Torricelli for $ale

Ho Ho Ho Ho - Why is it not surprising, given the Senator's questionable stock-swindles of the past - that he once more finds himself in ethical troubles?  Let's hope this time he gets nailed and nailed good..  [more]

Anne Heche:

Queen of the Hollywood Batheads

What is it about fucked up famous people, whether they get in some kind of moronic police trouble or whether they’ve made some career faux pas, they have to go on Barbara Walters for rehabilitation? What is it about Barbara Walters – that smug, frowsy, scrunch-faced .. [more]

Winona 'Ryder':

Winona Horowitz Starring in "The Thief"

..Regardless, the most hilarious development of Winona Ryder getting arrested for shoplifting recently is that virtually every story instantly revealed that the willowy and waspy Winona Ryder was really the craven shoplifting and pill-popping bathead, Winona Horowitz. That revelation alone for Ms. Horowitz must have been more grating than the actual piddling charge of getting busted with stolen goodies in her boutique shopping bags.. [more]

Mariah Carey:

The Bitch is Whack

... Well, the point of this piece is not to speculate about “poor” MC. The point is to predict where we go from here. Well, it can be said with some confidence that sooner or later the drugs will leave MC’s delicate system, and her pussy will snap back into place and cool down from the near molten friction build-up that was probably making MC a little cranky and “exhausted.” ... [more]

Lizzie Grubman

July, 2001: ...As her travails continue, she may even reach the exalted heights of Kathy Lee Gifford and be annointed “Supercunt Bitch Deluxe,” but let’s see how things pan out before pinning that prized honor on Grubby’s fake tits... [more]

Kathie Lee Gifford

June, 2000: Did you catch Super Bitch Deluxe Kathie Lee being interviewed by that lemon-lipped sister Super Bitch Diane Sawyer on 20/20 last night? [more]